Cookie Calamity -Toon- -Req.-The alleyway was quiet, save for the hum of a few air conditioners. A black-and-white kitten by the name of Color wandered by himself along the alley; he'd never been to this alley before, and wanted to do some exploring. Occasionally he would pause and peek into a trash can in search of something shiny, but for some reason all the trash was dull and boring today.As he passed by the back door of one building in particular, a scent coming from it made him stop in his tracks....Cookies!Color's nose hadn't betrayed him. That building was a bakery, the newly opened Sprocket Bros. Bakery to be more precise, and someone was baking cookies inside.Discreetly the kitten pushed the door open, glancing back and forth. He'd definitely entered the kitchen, and it appeared to be vacant, not a butcher or baker or candlestick maker in sight. The scent of cookies was still strong, though.Surely no one would notice if I pinched just one cookie. Maybe tw
A Blanket Statement -Toon-It was a cold autumn evening. If not for the science expo in town, Snapdragon wouldn't have ever ventured outside. His teeth chattered as he wrapped his tail around himself in a futile attempt to warm himself.Snapdragon was a dark green alligator (or was he a crocodile? Even HE was never sure) with a light green underbelly that extended along his arms and legs. His snout was elongated, and his back bore two vertical columns of slightly longer, black scales. Most distinguishing was his scaly hide, which was incredibly coarse front and back; his scales were so rough they could be used to sand wood.I'm so COLD! I'd better find some extra insulation before I retire to my hotel room.Glancing up, Snapdragon noticed that he was passing by the expo grounds. Despite the expo not opening until the next day, he could see that one of the exhibits was open. The words "BLANKET MAKER" graced the top of a large, cubical thing the size of
The White KingIt's a rainy Saturday evening in London, and due to a new curfew all the bars have closed sooner than usual. Mild-mannered gentleman Joseph Faraway, having little to do after being forced to part early with his alcoholic mistress, decides to play a game of chess against himself.Of course, in his drunken state, he barely follows the rules at all.Knights do not move two up and one sideways. Bishops do not move in diagonals. Pieces leapfrog one another without regard. One turn Faraway moves a piece as though it's a white rook, the next as a black queen.Faraway's manner of play is so ridiculous that he accidentally releases the spirit of chess itself out of the game board and pieces, and into himself.A moment later, he is Joseph Faraway no more. He is the White King.The spirit of chess gives Faraway phenomenal powers. He has an entire army of pawns, bishops, and knights at his disposal. He can move people, objects, buildings as easily as chess
Cartoon SkydivingSkydiving in cartoon worlds is significantly different from real-world skydiving, owing mainly to the fact that cartoon characters are nearly impossible to injure or kill.A 'toon skydiver or base jumper seldom uses a parachute or any other safety equipment that are ordinarily indispensable for a safe landing. Then again, for 'toon skydivers, landing "safely" typically defeats the purpose-- they rely on their own cartoon invulnerability in the same way that normal skydivers rely on their parachutes.There are at least three common methods of cartoon skydiving, each of which exploits the air friction and the diver's cartoon invulnerability in a different way.The "flat dive" is usually recommended for beginners, or those without a diving target. The diver extends their limbs and keeps their body face down and parallel to the ground, like a real-life skydiver would to slow their descent. The air pressure flattens the diver into a sheet, enabling them to drift gently to
Changed"I HATE IT!""Why?""IT'S DIFFERENT!"
Logical Fallacies IIA particular tribe has two categories of tribesmen: Sunkind and Moonkind.When asked a question by an outsider, a Sunkind will always answer truthfully, whereas a Moonkind's answer will always be false. Apart from that, members of the two tribes are virtually indistinguishable, as they dress and behave identically.You've just met two tribesmen at a fork in the road. You have a hunch that the first is a Sunkind and the second is a Moonkind, but you haven't confirmed it.So you point at the first tribesman and ask: "Are you a Sunkind or a Moonkind?""I'm a Sunkind," he replies. Which is exactly how a Sunkind would answer that question.Then you point at the second tribesman and ask the same question.His answer: "I'm a Sunkind." Which is exactly the answer a Moonkind would give.You take these answers as proof that the first tribesman is a Sunkind, and the second is a Moonkind.Is this wise?
Logical FallaciesA particular tribe has two categories of tribesmen: Sunkind and Moonkind.When asked a question by an outsider, a Sunkind will always answer truthfully, whereas a Moonkind's answer will always be false.One day, you happen upon a member of the tribe at a fork in the road. You're sure he's either a Sunkind or a Moonkind, but you have no idea which one.So you ask him: "Excuse me, sir. Are you a Sunkind or a Moonkind?""I'm a Sunkind," he replies.What have you proven?
Character profile: Kara"The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Gravity pulls all objects downwards, but there are methods of resisting it. A snake is a reptilian creature that does not have legs. Electronics will only work when plugged in, unless they have batteries. There is no such thing as a god or goddess. Such simple and infallible facts should always be kept to heart by an explorer such as myself." --KaraType of character: Sonicverse - Aganre sub-verseName: Kara ZinaksaAge: About 25Gender: FRace/species: Spectacled cobra (Mobian, Aganre-style)Occupation: ExplorerWeapon of choice: Crossbow w. sniper scopeFamily and associates:Eldest of four siblings. Single; has not yet been selected for a Test of the Gods.Appearance:Kara has the typical Aganre body and build. Her primary body color is a light yellow (FFFF00 in standar
Cartoon BullfightingBullfighting in cartoon worlds is significantly different from real-world bullfighting, owing mainly to the fact that the bulls are just as sapient as the fighters.Cartoon bullfighting is more like a cross between normal bullfighting and prizefighting. It's a duel between a heavyweight (the bull) and a lightweight (the bullfighter) in a large, circular dirt arena, where the bullfighter attempts to use wits and agility to defeat the bull, who attempts to use its sheer brawn to defeat the bullfighter. The first to flatten or otherwise incapacitate the other party wins the round; whoever wins two out of three rounds wins the match.Even after one participant has won the round, they are given extra time to play with their conquered opponent to humiliate them further (and entertain the audience even more). Then the fighters are allowed an intermission to rest up and recover. At the end of the match, the winner and loser are each given a quick 30-second interview fro
Uncle Charlie's Got the Rots AgainUncle Charlies got the rots again, down with the disease again. They may have to take the other leg this time, at least the foot. He just lays there in bed most of the time, staring out at something only he sees. Grandma Carol tries not to cry when she goes in to tend to him, but he must hear her all the way from the kitchen as she sits there crying over the potatoes. Slice, slice, slice; a little more gone each time. I sit on the porch and think how we all die like that; piece by piece as the good things turn rancid and are cut away. I wonder if Uncle Charlie sees Aunt Martha, seven years gone now. I kind of bet he does.
afternoon tea"Oh, I wish I were thinner.""You're thin enough already.""Don't say that! I mean, look at me!""You look slimmer than I do.""Ugh, just a few pounds, that's all I'm asking.""Don't do anything stupid.""No, I'm serious. I'd do anything to lose all of this.""…would you really?""Duh. Maybe I should just stop eating. I don't think it would be that difficult.""…""What?""Don't do that.""What? What are you talking about?""Not eating.""Oh, that. Ha, ha! You can't think I was serious—""It's not fun.""Huh?""Not eating.""Okay, yeah—""First your hair falls out. Then your skin turns yellow. And then you can't keep your balance on a perfectly level sidewalk.""Yeah, okay, I get it—""Then your collarbones appear. And your ribs. You'll hide from your sister when you change so she doesn't ask questions about the space that's appeared between your thighs.""Hey, what are you even talking about?""And then you lose your period. And your ability
Let me drift awaySammy loves me, and loves getting me high.He gives me a handful of pills, and I'm happy.Uppers make me a different person,maybe even a better person, in moderation,but enough is never enough,and I don't stop until my mind is floating,a million miles above this shitty world.I want to do anything, and everything,but some things shouldn't be done.When the pills wear off, i'm left with a mess.But downers are the best, they calm me down,and give my tired brain a rest from endless thoughts.I can just check out of my body, forget the memories, forget everything. Sometimes I even forget me.I think I could stare at the ocean forever,imagining the life I'll never have.But it doesn't make me sad to think about,because the pills have done their job,and I'm just happy to be here thinking,only in this moment, I need nothing.But the tide comes in and something changes,the sound of the waves seems wrong,suddenly I know it's not enough,to just be here, watching, thin
It's CHRISSMSMHPPPHHHHH - part 1Robber BabyRobber Baby, pull that rope around the arms Of me.been an awful good girl, Robber baby,so hurry through the window tonight.Robber baby, Please use the scarf near you,Light blue.It’ll keep me nice and quiet, that’s true,Robber baby, so hurry through the window tonight.Think of all the jewels you’ll find,Think of the helpless girl you’ll have to bind,Next year I can look just as good,But I want you to come in and be so kind,Robber baby, I wanna feel,the tape from the red roll you peel,Been an angel all year,Robber baby, so hurry through the window tonight.Robber honey, there's something you need to stuff,That clothInto my little mouth,Robber honey, so hurry through the window tonight.Robber cutie, and pull the rope tight around my knees,Yes please.And pull my ankles right back,Robber cutie, and hurry through the window tonight.Come and tie me on the bedWrap one more big scarf around my head,I really do want you to,Let's
The Heart's SlowingBaby's breath: ossified, bone white, still.
ThalliumThallium is blooming.She is a million possibilities and one, a billion possible outcomes. And she is also what has not yet been when the sun sets in the evening.Her path is not quite set in stone yet, but she is already much different than whatever she could have been. Every choice, every divergence she has taken she wears on her skin, like a regal mantle of rust and dust, for that is what truly defines her, and identity is the one thing she sorely longs for.It is always about finding a way forward with her, a way to keep advancing in spite of all the weight she bears on her skin, of all the rust that has accumulated over the years. So, she will press forward no matter the cost, for the only true death lies in inactivity. It is all about having something to show at the end of the day, something to make it all worth it, something to justify the scars and the bruises.She has most certainly suffered her fair share, or so she thinks at least, and yet it still stings just as bad every b
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